Not all opinions/sentiments held by the created man may be held by guest contributors. Not all opinions/sentiments held by guest contributors may be held by the created man team. Guest contributors add a unique tile to the mosaic nature of our ideas–not simply reaffirm our own held beliefs.
Guest Contributor: Daniel Cwiakala
I’m going to take just a minute to describe a person. I want you to picture the person who has these attributes, which I will explain.
- Picture the most loving person you know. Someone who can give and receive love ultimately. Someone who can see others’ needs to act on those needs and selfishly meet those needs as much as possible.
- Picture someone full of joy. A person who can receive deep fulfillment in each moment, A person who is full of life, a person who bubbles with contentment in each moment. Someone who sees the opportunity of each moment.
- Picture someone full of peace. Someone who is not argumentative or angry. Someone who is always looking for a win/win situation. Someone who can hear both sides, understand different perspectives and bring competing ideas together.
- Think of someone patient. An individual who is willing to wait for what they want. Someone who sees opportunities and is not in a hurry. A person who is not apprehensive instead remains calm and waits for what is next.
- Think of someone who is under control all the time—a person who has control of their emotions or thought patterns how to do things.
- Think of someone kind. Someone can see others for who they are, express authentic feelings, and be there for someone. Someone who is not rude. Someone who is not harsh.
Who did you see with each of these descriptions? Men? Women? Culturally speaking, I bet you saw more women than men. All of the words listed are Feminine nouns in the Greek. Why? Because culture has defined for us what is masculine and feminine. In this case, these words are not describing a man or woman, instead what a Child of God is like when they live life by the Spirit of God.
Again, This shows us how influential culture is in describing “manhood.” The Bible teaches us something very different. It shows how influential culture is in the definition of manhood more than the biblical interpretation of what Christ expects from us. Even if you look at the whole idea of being a servant leader, or “to be first, you must be last” all challenge the Ego of man. Jesus himself showed us what it meant to lead and love. We are to give everything of ourselves, serve those who hate us, and give up our power to betterment others.
Culture has defined “masculinity” through a sinful prism; it has stoked and exploded our egos to make each of us feel important. This is not what Christ calls us to. He calls us to a different normal, one that is so counter-cultural it look and feel, and toward a reality that looks nothing like what we see around us.
We are called to be full of love, joy, peace, patients, goodness, gentleness, and self-control. That is biblical manhood to defined.
The Character of a MAN – LOVE
We are called to live a life defined by love. Choosing the next action based on what love requires of us. This was modeled by Jesus, who was in very nature God, did not consider equality with God. He made himself nothing, taking on the form of a servant. He gave of himself completely, compelled by love for those who were disconnected from Him.
In his time speaking, He put forth the challenge of loving our neighbor as ourselves, To turn the other check, and to do unto others as we want to be treated ourselves. To live lives with love for others expressed through our words, deeds, and lives.
- Love must be expressed.
Many men struggle with expressing love. Men simply DO NOT share this emotion with other men. Yes, we may be able to say to our wives or children how important they are to us, but even this may seem hard. We would rather show it.
Showing love in action is only a portion of what it means to live a life full of love. Love must also be spoken. This is where the risk comes in. At this point, many men, because of culture, fall short.
Love unexpressed is not true love. Love unexpressed hides behind fear and insecurity. To truly express love one must be vulnerable, weak. How many of us have fathers we have never heard the words “I love you.” What would those words spoken to you mean to you?
The Bible tells us we are known by our love (John 13:35). But, culture has rewritten masculinity, it is not safe for a man to be full of love expressed through word and action. It is not safe for a man to express or feel a deep passion for another man. It makes us feel uncomfortable. But we MUST step into the weird, the insecurity, and become vulnerable with more people than our family members.
I wonder if this failure to express love is why many older men don’t seem to have close friendships?
- Love lived in a relationship.
Love is defined for us in the Bible in 1 Corinthians 13. No, this isn’t just for weddings; it is a road map for each of us to see if we live in a way defined by love.
- Am I patient with my wife, kids? Am I patient with my boss and employees?
- Do I resent other men for what position they have, how much money they make?
- Do I Boast, or am I Arrogant? Would others define you as proud?
- Do you hold grudges against friends from your past? People who have wronged you?
- Do you fight for those who are oppressed?
- Do I give up on people? Do I fight for a relationship?
When I look at this list of questions, I see my failure to love fully in my relationships. If I add to that the layer of speaking my love to all these relationships, I see even considerable shortcomings.
We can convince ourselves that we show our love by the work we do, the money we provide, the effort we put forth. We fail to love in relationships when we only do to show our love. How we treat, think, and speak to others, show our love for them.
This is not easy. This is where the work needs to be done. Can you express your love with words? Can you express your love in your relationships? As men who follow Christ, we are called to reject culture’s definition of manhood and redefine our identity with Christ and his teaching at the core of who we are.